For those of you living in Toronto, or other parts of Ontario, perhaps you heard about the boy who committed suicide because he was bullied so badly due to his disability.  He had muscular dystrophy, had been teased at school, and had been brutally attacked shortly before he decided to take his own life.  There has been a pouring out of sympathy for the family and the boy.  The sad thing is that this is not the only case of a person committing suicide because their life has become a living hell from bullying.

It’s amazing to me that so many parents would show so much sympathy towards a family in a case like this, but would not even think about spending five minutes to talk to their children about bullying.  So often, I have heard parents of physically aggressive children say “that’s just how they are”; or, “they need to be aggressive because it’s an aggressive world out there”; or “that’s just their personality”.  Bullying is not necessarily a by-product of aggressiveness, but, when it is not subdued, or, in some cases when it is encouraged, it certainly does not help the problem of bullying.  I believe that parents could do a lot more to discourage their children from the idea that it is ok to pick on someone who they think is inferior to them. 

Aside from raw aggression, there is often a psychological basis for bullying.  I am not an expert, however one theory is that bullies have low self-confidence and they pick on “weaker” individuals to overcompensate for their inferiority in an effort to elevate their own self-confidence.  I encourage my children to be assertive and to stand up for what they believe in, but not at the expense of others. 

It is a fact that children and youth with disabilities are at high risk of being bullied.  I know that most schools have a zero tolerance policy for bullying and launch campaigns against bullying.  So given these facts, why does it continue to be so prevalent in the school yard?  I would love to know the answer to this question, and, more importantly how to stop it.  I do believe that parents could take the first step (as many of you do already) to help teach and reinforce with your children that everyone is unique and “different” in their own way.  We need to get through to our children and youth that it’s not ok to pick on someone who talks “funny”, or someone who looks “funny”, or someone who walks “funny”.  In fact, some compassion and understanding should go out to those who have a disability since their daily life, in one way or another, has its own set of challenges that we take for granted everyday. 

Sophie Dedman

Director, Challenging Minds, Inc.

www.challengingminds.com